We have never been friends. You scare me a little. Honestly, I just don't think we see eye to eye on very much. But I want to have a candid conversation about something we have in common: Boobs. Creepy weirdos, you can move along. I'm not talking to you. Seriously, get out.
Okay, here's the thing. Topless protests? They bug me. I don't understand the rationale. I mean, sure, it is the fastest way to get attention, but is this what you want? Really? You want to besmirch the proud title of Feminism with your bare breasts? Because I'm not sure that is the attention you are looking for. There is a huge industry that makes billions on breasts, and I think we're both annoyed about that.
Recently, I read a facebook post that made a NC Bill that seeks to classify breasts in the same category as sexual organs sound like we were moving backward into the dark days of sexual repression of women. And you were there, we argued, you told me that "the man" was trying to make women ashamed of their bodies. That it isn't fair that men can go topless and women can't. And, what was that? Something about how men are making up these laws so they can feel better about raping us. Yes you did. You said that. Okay, it wasn't a direct quote. But you did suggest that the ability to feel better about raping women was behind laws like this. And that is just... insane. I'm sorry. It is.
Lets just break this down a little. The man behind this law, is Republican Representative Rayne Brown. She's a she. And the reason boobs are on her radar is because of this topless protest that happens in Asheville. And this is the proposed law, right here. Currently, there is no law that governs breasts in NC. Boobs are tricky, aren't they? Because they are this bonus we get as ladies. They feed babies AND are part of what defines our sexuality. So, we don't want to throw breastfeeding moms in the slammer. That would be idiotic. As it is written, this law is clarifying that breasts--and specifically the areola and nipple are included in the same category as sexual organs. So you can't whip them out in public where there are children around use them for sexual gratification. That is what the proposed law says. Now. That should be a no-brainer. Feeding babies, yes. Sexual gratification in the presence of children, no. Isn't that just clarifying the law to hold women to the same standard as men? Seems reasonable to me.
What doesn't seem reasonable to me is the idea that participating in a topless protest is somehow liberating, or empowering. Ever had one of those super empowering dreams where you show up to school and you're naked? And you're like, heck yeah everybody! I'm totally cool with this and I'm not embarrassed at all. No? Me either.
I want you to look at this feminists. Ladies: this is the Asheville topless protest. I'm sad. I don't think those ladies really felt empowered about having their tops off. Did you notice the girl with the scarf? And the sloping posture and arms crossed over the boobs? It kind of didn't look like they were having a lot of fun under the camera's glare there. And you know who organized that protest? This clown. I'm hearing song lyrics right now, excuse me: "I call THAT getting swindled and pimped. I call THAT getting tricked by a BIZness." I'm not just being rude because I'm disgusted that he's a dude. He really did work part-time as a clown. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I'm more concerned that his WIFE is not cool with him organizing topless protests a couple of states away. Oh yeah, he's from Alabama. And you were having a fit because Rep. Brown lives 2 hours away from Asheville and it isn't her district.
Now... I wonder if this conversation is even necessary. Is it? Have we really come to the point in our society where we need to legislate self-respect? Maybe not. Because, it turns out this Asheville protest organized by a dude who is so concerned about equality he's willing to face the disapproval of his wife to make sure ladies can take their tops off in public did not have a very high attendance last year. According to this article, attendance was way down. Let me venture a guess as to why. Was it harassment from the city of Asheville? Or was it that topless protests in August are a thing you just do once? Maybe it wasn't all it was cracked up to be? This is how I think it would go: you showed up ready to make a difference, ready to make a point that it isn't fair that women have to wear shirts and men don't. You took off your shirt. People stared at you. It was hot. Sweat started forming in uncomfortable places that are usually mitigated by the fabric of your clothes. Then you didn't quite know what to do with yourself. It was actually kind of lame. Maybe you got a sunburn. And then you decided you didn't want to do this again next year. Right?
I've had this stuff swimming in my head for a month or so. I pulled the trigger because I got a blast on my twitter feed about the Iranian topless protests. I started following an Iranian activist after seeing the death of Neda Agha and it broke my heart. There is a world-wide topless protest in solidarity for Amina Tyler, a Tunsinian high school student who posted a topless photo of herself in protest Islamic oppression of women on her Facebook. This is a little more serious than pulling off your top in Asheville, NC. The stakes are higher for this girl than jail time. And, apparently, Amina has been kidnapped and cut off from all communication. This is horrifying. And sad. Firstly, teenage brains literally are not developed enough to understand the repercussions of their actions. And secondly, because FEMEN has taken hold of this story and essentially made it a thousand times worse by holding topless protests and burning Islamic flags in front of Mosques. I am afraid they are sealing Amina's fate as a martyr. And that makes me sad. When trying to further the cause of women I think there are two rules you should always follow, feminists. 1. Don't take your lead from teenage girls. 2. Be aware of the culture, lifestyle and needs of the women you are trying to help. Muslim women are intelligent and they know what's up.
Moroccan pro-democracy activist Zineb Belmkaddem maintained that using a woman's naked body to change policy is simply bad for women."Exposing the woman's body ... reinforces the image that objectifies women actually, no matter how FEMEN would like to think that the action frees them somehow," she said. "I tell FEMEN, `call me when exposing your breasts gets you to break the glass ceiling.'
Okay, I'm sorry for getting serious at the end there. I meant to keep this light and sweet. I just want you to see the contrast. We don't have to agree on everything. Or very much. But please, can we just agree on this one? There is still work to be done to ensure women's rights. But we can do this with our shirts on. Mmkay? Smooches.
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